Suffering with Rage

Jesse Martinez
6 min readJul 28, 2017

My friend Tom is an artist. He has the capacity to express the infinite nature of spirit, fused with the pain that our brothers and sisters are afflicted with on this three-dimensional plane of existence.

Tom has pursued a spiritual path for over 40 years. He’s been Christian, Buddhist, and Hindu; and for several decades now, it has been a mixture of various techniques. His spiritual journey’s main purpose has been to overcome his rage at the hypocrisy he witnesses daily, but he feels he cannot escape it.

So many of us, if not all, carry rage or anger in our hearts. Some of us notice it more than others, but we all have it. Most of us have carried this rage throughout our lives.

Most people have surrendered to their misery; but some (like my friend Tom), after many decades of suffering and rage, still somehow have faith they will find the answers to defeating it.

That is quite miraculous in itself.

Let us look at Tom’s rage. Though he seeks to overcome it, he instead holds it close to his bosom, like a mother holding her child. Exercising his rage has become his defense, keeping its frequency as his shield to protect him from the ignorance and hypocrisy he witnesses on a day-to-day basis. So instead of diminishing its effects, his rage increases daily.

It is no different than someone taking pharmaceuticals for pain, whereas the patient develops a tolerance the longer they take the drugs. To keep receiving the same pain reduction level, one must constantly increase the dosage until it becomes addictive, and even deadly.

All of us who have suffered from rage and anger, and (whether we like it or not) have become addicted to its destructive frequency. When it comes to our rage, we don’t notice its increasing frequency, as it happens in tiny increments each day. We only notice when we can no longer control it, and the outcome is an irrational eruption that affects everyone around us — and tears us apart from within.

After it passes, we are generally left with shame and guilt because of our outburst; but then we soon return to embracing our shield of rage because, other than drugs and other addictive substances, it is the only thing that can bury the shame and guilt of our actions. At the same time, we convince ourselves that we must find a way to destroy the vibration of rage.

This is the way of mankind. Not just Tom, but of all our brothers and sisters who have suffered with rage throughout time.

You will find many books and teachers who show you techniques on destroying ego, which in turn is supposed to destroy your rage. Destruction of the elements of oneself will not serve you. No matter what we think about our rage, destroying it is not the answer. In truth, it is part of our existence. You may subdue your rage and bury it deep within the tissues of your gut, but it will emerge again when you least expect it.

Most of those techniques amount to nothing more than self-hypnosis. Sooner or later, someone or something will snap you out of it — and the rage will bring you to your knees: physically, mentally and spiritually.

There is another way.

To most it might sound a little insane in the beginning, but hear me out. Hypothetically speaking, let’s say we could take our accumulated lifetime of rage and compress it into a solid mass — it could be a cube the size of a dime. Then take all the moments of beauty you have experienced in life and condense that into a solid mass — it would more than likely be the size of a grain of sand, in comparison to rage.

So how can one overcome rage if it is so much greater than all the other beautiful emotions one carries? The solution is simple, but requires a great deal of dedication and honest observation of self.

If all the beautiful moments in your life amount to a grain of sand, then let us look at this grain of sand as a seed. Imagine it as a diamond: see it vibrating and emitting beauty in every direction. Just for a moment, reach into that vibration; and very deep within your consciousness, see the smile of a child vibrating with awe. Let that beauty saturate your being for a moment.

You have just begun to exercise the frequency of beauty.

You may notice at this point that one of the few emotions you have exercised in your entire adult life was rage. Do not attempt to destroy your rage. Instead, observe that condensed mass (the size of a dime) and understand it will be a part of you in this life. It can serve you as a point of reference.

Now, let us compare the tiny diamond (vibrating with beauty) to the cube (vibrating with rage). If that tiny crystal can vibrate in a state of beauty alongside rage, there is no need to go to war with any element of self. Rather, over time, one must focus and acknowledge every moment of joy, even if it was — just for a second — a gentle smile, a beautiful flower, or an exquisite meal.

Each day we must find something to smile about — if not in our surroundings, then within our memories, even if we must go all the way back to our childhood.

As we do this, the tiny crystal of beauty will expand. At first, only in minute increments; and because it is smaller than the cube of rage, we must give more attention to this tiny seed crystal, just as a parent will give greater attention to the newborn babe than to the adolescent child because of need. You must nurture this seed crystal; but at the same time, make no attempt to harm the rage, as it is a part of you.

As you practice this exercise, you will inevitably reach the point where the tiny seed crystal has grown to be greater than the cube made of rage. As you continue this exercise over time, the seed crystal will now vibrate with greater and greater intensity, and one will see beauty where one has never seen beauty before.

That cube of rage within you will still exist, be the same size, and just as intense as when you began this exercise. Over time, though, its effect on you will lessen because you have exercised accessing the beauty of life instead. Your entire matrix will choose beauty over rage. The goal is to continue exercising the seed crystal with the vibration of beauty and love, thereby giving it greater and greater mass, until the cube of rage is miniscule in comparison and can rarely affect you in the negative.

This I tell you from experience: kill not any element of the self, but rather exercise the attributes of self that are not harmful to the self or others.

When you exercise your consciousness over the global consciousness, you become independent and more capable of expressing beauty and love. You must do this with gentleness and consistency. It is not complicated, but it’s not the easiest of journeys either, for you will do something that few have done before. And there will be no evidence that you will succeed until you succeed.

Have faith that you have been made right, and that all the attributes required to walk in peace are incorporated within you.

I am available for counseling, in person or via phone, in relationship to using this technique.

Be at peace.

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Originally published at www.apexenergymasters.com on July 28, 2017.

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